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  • Writer's pictureChristian Schaeffer

People Need Intimacy

In his writing, Erwin Raphael McManus points to the need that is often overlooked, the human soul’s craving for intimacy.

In a relationship, we need a strategy to avoid the pain of heart brokenness and spiritual emptiness which can leave us with feelings of meaninglessness and disillusionment.

To capture and treasure the intimacy that is produced in relationships, but dissipates over time, a deliberate process must be employed.

I heard a story once that went like this...

Dan is driving his brand new Mustang on his way to pick up his date. His girl waits for him to pull up to the curb. She is smiling and excited as she thinks about being with her new found love. She steps into the bright red Mustang with its new car smell and slides in close to him. The song comes on the radio, “Love is in the


As they sit side-by-side in the car, she cuddles even closer to him. She doesn’t mind that he smells like he has been sweating all day. They cannot get enough of each other. They are so close to each other that you would think that they were Siamese twins. She sits right under his armpit where she feels safe and secure. He always feels comforted in the warmth of her loving embrace. Together they meet the needs of their longing hearts.

Fast forward...Now they have been married 10 years. When they drive somewhere together,

they sit on separate sides of the car as close to the door as possible without falling out. Now

everything is annoying.

Researchers have identified basic human needs and drives. In the book Come Closer, intimacy is described as a sacred relationship which is the innermost human need for companionship with your life partner and with God conjointly. When our need is met, there is hopefulness, agape love, and faith. In a spiritually secure intimacy, we will feel God’s love and connectedness with our spouse and with God.

“Intimacy is more than closeness.” 1◼


1 Schaeffer, Isaac. Come Closer: A Pathway to Sacred

Intimacy. Schaeffer House Productions, 2019.

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